The bigger picture

Meet the writers

The two young talented haitian writers/bloggers, Saskya Altieri and Muhreahwrites, mutually agreed on publishing an article based on their personal take on past experiences. Happy reading.

The ones who stay, the ones who go

We all have those people whom we wish we had never crossed paths with, and it’s only because we would’ve never ever fathom to see those relationships, friendships, or those bonds we thought were unbreakable, break/end.

We also meet several people whom we wish we could’ve met sooner. Because of the amount of growth, laughter, love, clarity and peace they’ve brought and continuously bring into our lives.

People often say that they would’ve preferred that the individuals who come into their lives, or anyone they cross paths with, to come with a label. “Beware! Dangerous” or “No need to worry, I come in peace”. Just a simple warning. While that may never be the case, keep in mind that everyone we meet comes with a package, and within that package lies a box. That box will either contain a blessing or a lesson. Whatever it is, we need to learn how to embrace it.

“We don’t meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our paths for a reason.”Unknown

“I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, whether we know the reason or not. Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there. They are meant to serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are and who you want to become.”  – Emily Frieband

People do not just randomly appear into our lives, there is a reason behind it.

In the midst of it all

“Friendships and personal relationships are the hardest relationships to maintain across the lifespan” – Charlotte Hilton Andersen

Long lasting friendships / romantic relationships are great. However, some relationships become unbearable when you or your partner are stuck in the midst of chaos. That’s when break ups come in – friendships end, relationships end. Seeing the finish line of a meaningful relationship rise in front of your eyes can be painful. You lose contact, you immediately start resenting the person who’s caused you pain, wondering why and how it all came to an end. Some things just don’t work out, sometimes it’s neither you’re fault or the other persons fault. Yet, there you were, put in each others lives.

Don’t you ever wonder? For what reason did he/she and I cross paths? What exactly was I supposed to learn from this?

“Convinced my purpose in life romantically is to prepare men to be good men to the women after me” – @Roatansfinest on Twitter 

“The timing of people coming into our lives is incredibly important as well. I believe that there is no such thing as coincidence, only reason and purpose. Often, I hear or read something from someone and feel that the person was led into my life for a reason. Sometimes, it is the message; in the words they write or in the words they speak. Sometimes, I am meant to connect with the person and open up to them in order to grow as a person. Sometimes, I am meant to meet someone to inspire them. Sometimes, I am meant to meet someone to become a better version of myself, or better yet, help them become a better version of themselves.”

We must overlook the pain, see past the heartache, confusion and find the bigger picture. Yes, it hurts like hell, but once that person has achieved their purpose in your life, their job is done. Once you’ve achieved your purpose, your place is no longer by there side. That door has to close in order for another to open and present itself to you.

Lesson or blessing

“We have all had various experiences that have had a significant impact on who we are. What I’ve noticed over time is that it’s not so much the experience itself that is important, but the meaning we assign to the experience. What is the story we tell ourselves about that experience? That’s what affects who we are, future decisions we make, and how we interact with others.” – Emily Frieband

Four of my readers agreed to accept this small assignment I came up with for this article. The assignment is regarding their past romantic or platonic relationships.

They had to:

A. Think of a painful romantic experience.

B. a) Tell us 3 positive things they’ve learned from it b) Tell us how it shaped them into the person they are today.

Here is what they had to say:

“My last relationship shaped me into the person I am today. This was a relationship that I considered the most important in my life and when it abruptly ended , I had to learn how to live without it. At the beginning, no lie about it, it was incredibly painful. However, when I finally accepted that it was really over, my thought process and life automatically began to change. Knowing that I was capable of surviving, and achieving it is was my greatest victory. It taught me how to become my own person, to be open minded and additionally, it taught me a lot about myself. There was so much strength within me, laying there, dormant. Strength that I didn’t even know I had. My life was changed for the better.” – Eureika Brevil

“My last relationship, although it was purely platonic, taught me that one should never rush into relationships, or force any type of connections. You should always take the time to learn about the other persons intentions before you blindly trust them. Being trusting isn’t a weakness, however, not everyone is like me or has the same heart as me. Therefore, I learned that not everyone had the same heart as me and that I must always be careful of the people I keep around or let into my life.” – Greta Walsh

“My significant other entered my life when I was at one of the worst romantic stages of my life. Our relationship taught me how to be more open minded, more tolerant, less selfish, more patient and how to hold myself accountable for my actions. We learned a lot from each other. Though we are no longer together, and no matter how much it hurt that we no longer are, I don’t consider our relationship a waste of time because it made me a better version of myself.” – Hayley White

My last relationship taught me that not everything will go your way. You mustn’t only love with your heart, but also with your heart. Cause, loving blindly could cost you, a lot. Lastly, the end of a relationship isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t mean that you get to go out there hurting others just because you previously got burned. Don’t do it. No matter how painful it may be, life goes on. Let bygones be bygones. Embrace your experience, and learn from it.” – Dooley K. André

The bigger picture

“There is a blessing hidden in every trial in life, but you have to be willing to open your heart to see them.”

Whether platonic, professional or romantic, never let a past experience shape you in nothing but a better version of yourself. There’s always a lesson unrevealed, not every failed relationship is “a bad relationship”.

The way we deal with our daily encounters, our thought process, expectations are all altered and shaped by our experiences. Door by door, box by box, may you find the strength to embrace and find some good in your past experiences.

Now that you’ve finished reading this article, make sure you check out Saskya Altieri’s article on the same topic. Here’s the link: The bigger picture

This was, “The bigger picture” written by Muhreahwrites.

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